I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
