my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
