Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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