i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Everclear isn't food dammit
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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