Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
