This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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