i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
