So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
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