It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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