So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
this will be a night to untag.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
