Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
So vagazzling was a success
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
