she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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