Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
honey bunches of taint.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
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