white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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