That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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