$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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