i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I got her a Nickelback box set.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
