doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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