but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
