Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Randomize
