This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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