i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
