its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
