Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Is Oprah even human
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
