a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Are we still banned from the library?
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
