I accidentally had phone sex last night
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
