New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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