you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
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