A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Randomize
