i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
