i just wanna soil my oats bro
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
