If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
