There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
