I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
