me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize