My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
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