Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
