That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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