I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I want to be your penis for a week.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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