just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
