So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize
