he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Randomize
