Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Randomize
