escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
