Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Randomize
