Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
