Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
