is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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