They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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