i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize