I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
