I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
