shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
