I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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