your parents love me but you hate me
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
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