so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
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