Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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