Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
When did angry sex become our thing?
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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