I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
