The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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