Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
