wanna go halves on a baby?
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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