therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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