Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Randomize
