saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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